Another Half left...

Assalamualaikum...

I remember when i was little, i always dreaded Ramadhan. For some reason, i just couldn't stand not eating and drinking for more than 12 hours everyday, moreover for a month. I still remember pleaded to my mom to break the fast, giving her all sorts of excuses that crossed my mind, hoping she would bend to my childish whining.
Well, it was useless anyway because Mom only needed to raise her voice once and i will scramble to save my butt from her effective 'rotan'.
Hmm, thanks Mom!

Alhamdulillah, that wasn't the case for me anymore, (otherwise there's something very very wrong with me, right?)
In fact, i love Ramadhan now.
Not just because of the good(s) and barakah(s) in it, also because of the way this holy month makes me feel of myself and life in general:

1) This is the month i can maintain my weight.. and health too.
Well, that's the most natural thing to do, don't you think? We're fasting.. we cannot eat...
3 Ramadhan ago, i started my 'diet' program. and from there on, i successfully reduce my weight from 76kg, (one time it went as high as 78kg) to 62 kg within 5 month... and Alhamdulillah, i've maintained the ideal weight until now.
To my good friend, M; and H too: come on, you can do it!!!
Oh, to A, and another M, you too can do it, mate...

2) I can control my temper.
Well, a lot of people, even my close friends didn't know that i have some temperamental problem! I may appeared mild-mannered and happy go lucky to most eyes, and Allah knows I am. But very few knew that i also have this problem i am still learning to control. 'Short-fused'... that's what my brother said of my temper. He knew better, as he was sometimes been at the receiving-end of it. (Sorry, abang!)
Maybe you can ask my tennis racquet, especially the broken one, which i smashed to the floor after i missed several easy shots not long ago.
But no need to panic my friends, Ramadhan is here. The special month is here. And if there's something i really want so badly after the fasting month was over, is that my temper still very much in check, if not reduced. I pray hard to Allah so that He, who Himself is the Most Merciful and Graceful towards His servants, will grant me the patience that has eluded me so far.. Amin.

3) I feel so peaceful with myself and with the world.
Just like everybody else, i have high expectations on myself and world itself. Sometimes it worked the way i wanted and more often than not, it wasn't. It was either i put so much pressure on myself or i didn't put enough pressure. Maybe both.
But come Ramadhan, all the worries seemed to evaporate into oblivion. It didn't matter. As if somebody just soothed all my worries, saying things like, 'it's okay, you know can always start anew', and more importantly, 'no fuss Z, Allah is with you. Everything happened, happens for a reason. There's always 'hikmah' behind each of it...'
And i will smile, to no one in particular. A knowing smile, comes from within, feeling peaceful and happy the way i can't describe, even to myself. Alhamdulillah.

4) Be a Grateful servants.
All the above and other things, made me think, i've spent so much time worrying and complaining about things i didn't get. But what about things i do have? Did i spend a lot of time thinking about how lucky i am to have what i have? Did i ever complain when i got what i wanted? And, have i gone too far into becoming an ungrateful 'jerk' to Allah The Almighty?!
So i closed my eyes, breathing hard while asking for forgiveness from the Most Merciful for all my ignorances. Forgive me, Ya Allah. I'm nothing without You, and Your Blessing. Open my eyes to what clouded my eyes from seeing your Gift to me and let me become one of your grateful servants...

Therefore, i urge and implore all of you, my fellow friends, brothers and sisters. Let's find our inner self during this holy-month. Ask ourselves, are we really living the Ramadhan the way Rasulullah taught us to? Are we really embracing Ramadhan the way Allah wants us to?!!

Ramadhan was already half-way. Take this opportunity!
Who knows maybe this is the last Ramadhan... for any of us...




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