Lagenda Elfarren... (2)

Assalamualaikum...

....(Sambungan daripada Lagenda Elfarren... (1))

Seperti yang saya katakan, rupa-rupanya masalah saya berpunca daripada bahasa Inggeris!
Mengapa saya mengatakan demikian? Ada 3 sebab:

1. Saya begitu terpengaruh dengan siri novel fantasi Inggeris, 'The Shannara Trilogy' tulisan Terry Brooks, dalam tidak sedar saya cuba meniru gaya tulisannya. Untuk pengetahuan pembaca, gaya tulisan Mr Brooks ini panjang-panjang sehinggakan 1 perenggan hanya terdiri daripada satu ayat sahaja. Berbeza dengan penulisan buku Melayu di Malaysia, satu isi satu ayat. Tetapi saya pula satu ayat merangkumi pelbagai 'details' dan menyebabkannya menjadi panjang sehingga boleh membentuk satu perenggan!
2. Selain itu, apabila saya hendak membentuk satu ayat dalam penceritaan saya, secara tak sedar saya sebenarnya memikirkannya dalam bahasa Inggeris dahulu sebelum diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa Melayu! Lalu, apa yang terhasil seolah-olah merupakan hasil terjemahan yang tidak mengikut nuansa bahasa Melayu yang sedap.
3. Saya juga baru saja menyedari saya sudah lama tidak membaca buku2 novel Melayu bagi mendapatkan semula 'feel' bahasa Melayu. Tidak hairanlah, 'perbendaharaan kata' Melayu saya agak rendah...
   

Semua itu saya sedari hanya setelah saya menamatkan tulisan novel pertama saya itu...
Agak terlambat? Yup, but still, better late than never, right?

Jadi, saya pun memulakan proses 'editing' yang rupa-rupanya merupakan proses yang sangat sukar dan akhirnya terus mematahkan semangat saya untuk terus berusaha mendapatkan penerbit yang sudi menerbitkan buku saya itu...

Dengan Kakak F pun tiba-tiba sahaja mendiamkan diri, saya tahu saya harus berusaha mencari penerbit lain, namun ternyata ia tidak pernah kesampaian.
Dengan bantuan abang saya, saya 'print-out' kesemua 800 mukasurat novel saya itu, dan mem'binding'kannya. Fikir saya, lebih mudah untuk diedit apabila dibaca sebagai sebuah buku daripada membacanya di skrin laptop saya.
Selain itu, ada juga saya print-out beberapa chapter awal dan memberikannya kepada abang saya untuk membaca dan memberikan komennya, manakala 'buku' setebal 800 mukasurat itu diberi kepada seorang rakan yang menyatakan dia sudi untuk baca dan meng'edit'kan untuk saya.

Sementara itu, saya menunggu sahaja 'feedback' daripada mereka dengan perasaan yang bercampur-campur. Keyakinan yang tidak berapa lama dahulu begitu menebal, kini semakin cair, namun tetap juga saya berharap akan mendapat 'positive review' yang pertama untuk hasil tulisan saya itu.
Namun, itu juga nyata tidak kesampaian...

Reaksi mereka; samada 'okaylah' (but without any conviction) - that's from my brother; dan juga, 'terlalu banyak nak kena edit/buang ni!' - that's from my friend.
In fact, almost everyone in my rental house felt the same way about my writing, with one of them, without any sense that i might hurt listening to his comment, said, "wow, teruk giler tulisan abang Zahar!"

Dan pada masa itulah, saya terus hilang keyakinan sama sekali untuk meneruskan perjuangan saya dalam bidang penulisan ini. Almost everyone come to me with either a very bad review or simply said 'no comment' straight to my face.

Don't get me wrong though. i didn't have any grudge on them (although i sure hope them to be a little bit more sensitive to my feelings). They just said what was in their mind at the time; which sadly was... well, nearly about the truth. They pointed on my weakness (which was good), but only relentlessly and harshly. But, it's okay guys, i forgave you already, hehe.

You know what happened after that? I found a little solace with this blog, and Sevenheroes blog. In these blogs, i continue my writings, but only this time in English. To my surprise almost all my friends really like my writing! My housemates, my friends, almost all of them gave glowing reviews!
And the funny thing was, they compared my writing in English with my writing in Malay and they all agreed on one thing: My english writing was better than my Malay one! Haha, you know, i felt like crying and laughing at the same time when i heard that. And while it took some time for me to drink in the fact, it also gave me something to cheer on and more conviction on my ambition to write my own English book someday.

But the story isn't finished yet. All that happened almost a year ago. And to tell the truth, i still have some hope that my Malay novel will see a daylight in a publishing world. For me, where i lacked with my language, i actually (or maybe) can covered it with my idea!
Why not? My idea is very grand! That first novel has already been divided into two books, and the truth is, i still have more idea for the story that can be written into 5 or 7 books!

So, i made up my mind, and i said i will try once again for this book to be published. I've edited it for countless times, and although it certainly won't be good enough for some of you, i still think this edited version is better, if not much, than the previous one.

That's why i have decided to setup another blog, Lagenda Elfarren, solely for this book. i have a big hope and bigger dream that anyone, anyone, can give their opinion, and even correct me wherever i messed up in my writing. i have fell in love with this writing stuff and i'm more determine than ever now, to at least improve myself in it.
With your help of course...

This is my journey to be a successful writer, and i hope and i pray, all of you will join and support me to meet the end of it...!