WELCOME BACK!

Assalamualaikum...

A little bit late here, but still i want to say Welcome back to Malaysia to Shu, Lan and my niece Tisyia...
I hope to see you all soon as i can't wait to see Tisyia...

Bye
Uncle Z


Type rest of the post here

Joyeux Anniversaire, Mon Frere.

Assalamualaikum.

Today’s posting is specially for my brother; who, besides my family, is one of the most important person in my life. Without doubt! And I for one, can never be grateful enough to Allah for this lifetime gift to me, that more often than not, makes me feel blessed and lucky, all at the same time.

Alhamdulllah…

"A person is only complete when he has a true friend to understand him, to share all his passions and sorrows with, and to stand by his throughout his life."

The word of wisdom above is what echoed through my head right now as I search for exact words to describe my brother in this entry. Of course, if I have my way, I would’ve changed the word friend above to something more significant to me, frere or brother. Hmm, maybe I will next time, but for today, I guess that will do… for I have more important things to say here.

My brother, as far as I can recalled when I first met him back in 1996 is one of the nicest guy in our school, very well-liked and well-respected. Just name it; ‘budak surau’ or ‘budak lagha’ (like me, hehe), we can’t help but nodding our head in agreement to whatever he said. Even sometimes, when we’re in the middle of big laugh and joking around, everything will be quiet when he arrived or just passing by there… and of course, with a guilty smile on our face…!

Such is the effect of my brother to other people. And such is the quality that drawn me towards him, as we grew closer by the end of 1996.

People always asked me, how in heaven’s name we could become best friends when everybody knows that we are world apart in almost every aspect; attitude, way of thinking, personality, interest, background, et cetera… et cetera… et cetera.

But I always said: First, we are not just best friend, we are brothers… the best one. And second, all the differences that being mentioned above? That’s what make us closer and stronger as brothers! As I always said to people around me; imagine a set of puzzles, only different shape of puzzles can fit each other. Two similar shapes? Try it yourself!

Obviously, the situation in present day is way different from 12 years ago. While he is now happily married with a kid – my cute nephew, Hasif – I’m still single with just a piece of broken heart (sigh). But put it all aside, we are still very much in contact, if not closer. Being Uncle Z to his son, makes me apart of his family and I relish the new position as much as I enjoy it.

As for my brother, he’s still tough and serious as I’m still a happy-go-lucky guy. But deep in my heart, I know we will remain brothers, stronger than ever until death takes us away from this world.

That’s why today, in this column, dated 23rd of January, I would very much like to wish my brother a happy birthday, and to wish him all the happiness in this world with Allah’s blessing in whatever he is doing.

So, to the best brother in this whole wide world, Joyeux Anniversaire, Mon Frere.

Mom - The Crown of My Heart

That Saturday morning, as I promised my mom, I took her to Putra Specialist Centre, Malacca for a final check on her cyst inside her uterus. With final check, I mean last check before the surgery, which was supposed to take place three years ago!

There was no sense of urgency at the moment, considering this wasn’t a life and death situation, at least not that I can think of. So, with no expectation, I walked into the hospital and made an arrangement for my mom to see one of the doctors there.

Dr. Tan Lee Nak.

That’s the name of the fine lady doctor that’s going to check upon my mom. “Obstetrician & Gynecologist”, said the sign on the door I entered with my mom. (Pakar Perbidanan dan Sakit Puan).

‘So, Doctor Tan, how’s my mom?’ I asked when the doctor came out from a small room adjoined to her office, with my weary-looking mom by her side.

Doctor Tan took her time before answering my question. With her finger pointed to unmistakably a picture of female reproduction system on the table (thank god I paid attention to my biology class), she drew one big circle on the right side of the picture. The right ovary...!

‘What is...?’ I cannot complete the sentence.

‘This circle represents the size of the cyst inside your mother!’ The doctor explained calmly. ‘The cyst is attached to your mother’s right side ovary and it’s getting bigger and bigger by the time’.

What?! My jaw dropped. It can’t be... I said to myself.

‘Err, doctor...’ I finally managed to say. ‘Exactly.. how big is the cyst inside my mom’s uterus..?And.. is it.. is it.. dangerous?

Once again, Doctor Tan took her time, before launched into a rather long explanation.

‘By now, you should know what is it the cyst that we’re dealing with..’ said the doctor. And then without waiting for my respond, she continued,

‘To answer your question just now, the cyst that attached to your mother’s right ovary is big. I can’t really say how big it is, but it is big. And to be honest, it can be dangerous if it stays in there any longer. Why? Because first, the cyst might burst open and the liquid inside it can be toxic to your mother’s body. Second, and more important, the cyst sometimes.. is an early indicator of cancer...!’

‘Did you say cancer... doctor?!’ I can’t stop myself. My heart is pounding, and by now, flashes of bad things started to flood inside my mind.

For a minute, the doctor looked startled by my hard expression. Then, she smiled and says,

‘Yes. But I still didn’t finish my sentence...’

As I nodded and say sorry, she continued,

‘What I said just now are the possibilities of what can happened if we don’t remove the cyst. And after I scanned your mother’s uterus a while ago, I can say that so far, there’s no sign of cancer on your mother’s uterus...’

I just said my syukur to Allah on the news when the good doctor, once again continued,

‘Although... I still have to warn you that everything will be confirmed; only after I removed the cyst and take it to lab for some tests...’

Exhaled deeply, I nodded once again and said,

‘That’s good enough doctor. That’s good enough...’

And after a while,

‘So, when can you do the operation, doctor?’ I asked.

The doctor smiled before she replied,

‘Actually... it’s up to you and to your mother. I can only suggest you do it as soon as possible.’

Nodding slightly, I turned to my mom,

‘Mak, doktor tanya, bila mak nak buat operation ni? Macam mana kalau selasa depan? Boleh ke mak?’

Looking at me, my mom nodded slowly. Okay.

‘How about this Tuesday, doctor? Are you free that day? I asked.

‘Tuesday’s okay,’ said the doctor. ‘I have no operation on Tuesday, and I can perform the surgery on your mother in the morning.’

And just as I thought, everything’s settled, and I can bring my mom home, my hope vanished just like that.

As I found out after that, the difficulties are just about to start...

Mom – the most important person in our life

One simple glance to the title above, no one in his/her right mind will ever disagree with the statement!

Yup, everybody in this world, I repeat, in his/her right mind, will agree that the amazing woman, who gave birth to us, raised us, sacrificed everything just for us, and loved us unconditionally with all her heart, is indeed the most important person in our life...!

In fact, it has been so universally agreed, the statement has somewhat became cliché in our life nowadays...

And mind you, when something... anything becoming a cliché, it always lost its depth and uniqueness, especially to the core meaning of it.

That’s what I thought the first time I wrote the statement for the title above... A cliché!

What I had in mind right now is to spill my heart in this writing... of how much I love my mom, and how much she meant to me. That... she’s the world, and... ooh, what can I say, she’s everything to me!

Moreover I want to spill my gut on how scared I am on the slightest possibility of losing her in one recent event, and how much I worried about her while waiting for her in the waiting area with my other siblings.

And also, I want to share with the others, the utmost relief I felt when my mom finally opened her eyes and smiled weakly at me, when I kissed both her cheeks and forehead, while trying very hard to contain my tears of joy and relieved...

Ooh, so many things I want to share in this writing.

Not just about all the turbulence in my heart these last few days, but also about a newfound lesson and ‘hikmah’ from all that!

Yet, when I sat in front of my laptop, and start to think of what is the title for this column, it struck me that no words would ever describe whatever I had in my mind and my heart right now...

Even when I finally decided to use the title above ( Mom – the most important person in our life ), I felt degraded by the ‘cliché ness’ of the words. Because for all I know, that sentence may or may not bring justice to what I really meant inside my heart and soul..!

Forgive me for blabbing, because finally I have decided; despite the ‘cliché ness’, I would stick to the title above, knowing that in my heart I really, really meant each and every word in it.

That,

Mom, you really are the most important person in my life!

Or...

Maybe I can change it to,

Mom, you’re the queen of my heart!

Wait for the next column for the details of the ‘recent event’ I mentioned above...

Relationship: We are our own greatest enemy?

Relationship is a strange yet so enticing to each and every one of us.

And why is that?

Because as human being, we are the creature of community. We are all about living together.

Togetherness is as important as loneliness is a nightmare to us.

Just look around us...

Can you name someone who lived all alone by one self, and earn a living in this world all by him/herself and lived a happy life?

Somehow I’m pretty sure none of you can.

Even the so-called ‘independent’ person, who proudly declared that he/she didn’t need anybody else in his/her life, will end up hooked with someone, which eventually would altered the proud declaration above, to something like this, “I can’t imagine what my life would be if I didn’t met you...” or worse, “I can’t live without you...!” and so on and so forth.

And bear in mind, those words are more than likely to come from the mouth of a ‘very’ independent person!!!

Relationship is what we called ‘fitrah’ for every single life in this world.

Every breathing-being, let it be human, animal and plant, all of them need companion in their life. Be it for mating needs, for food, or for protection, companionship and relationship is the very foundation of life itself.

Simply said, nobody/nothing can survive without it. Period!

Yet, as a creature blessed by Allah with the ability to think and to differentiate between good and bad, we didn’t seem bothered to use the ability to behave and to take care of our relationship, and to make the most of it.

Why do I say so?

Hmm, well, think about it...

If that’s not true, why did everywhere we looked nowadays, we could find at least a bit of broken families, failed relationships, frustrations and pieces of broken hearts?

And still, not to mention the all-time favorite conflicts that happened almost everyday in this world. Whether in a small scale conflict such as fighting and crisis between friends and siblings, to a big-scale one such as political conflict in a country, or worse, unstoppable and bloody war between nations...!!

.............................

So, after all that (still just a few), could we still claimed that we have fully (and properly) make use of the advantage Allah gave us?

And what’s more, doesn’t it interesting to note that while we human being, are a creature of intelligence, we’re actually no better than the ‘lesser’ no-brainer creatures like cats, dogs or monkeys?!

Or sometimes, even worse...?!

And that this ‘revelation’ will finally bring us all to an agreement that we – the so-called ‘intelligent’ human being – are our own greatest and darkest enemy?!

.............................

The subject of human behavior, whether in a relationship or not, has always captivated me, simply (and not simply) because it is complicated and mysterious at the same time.

If it’s okay for me to say this, I always want to consider myself as an observant and sharp in seeing things related to human behavior that the others always missed and ignored. Maybe it has something to do with my ‘sensitive’ heart, or it simply my interest, I don’t know.

That’s why, throughout this blog, I’ve decided to make room for this subject. With the help of people around me, and a little bit of my readings, I surely hope I can cover a lot of it. And in the process, hopefully I can learn from it and eventually become a better person.

Z